DA 2010 Episode 9: Even in Death
by AngelExposed
Summary: Rogue and Kitty are too late to help Remy, and Hank can do nothing. Rogue is devastated, and Kitty is blaming herself, how will Rogue react when she finds out what Kitty did? And what did Hank find out about the Bullet? (Finished R&R please )
1. Chapter 1: I'm Afraid

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 9

Chapter 1:  I'm Afraid

          Rogue entered the mansion through the front door, taking her jacket off as she headed towards the staircase, it was then that she noticed Remy LeBeau standing upon the banister at the top of the stairs overlooking the foyer, she strained her eyes to look closely, noticing a noose around his neck.

          "Remy…what are you doing?!" she demanded, panic overwhelming her, freezing her to the spot.

          Remy LeBeau did not answer Rogue at all.  He looked at her with tragic, desperate soulful eyes, eyes of pain, hurt, he looked as if he'd been crying.

"Remy…come down…" Rogue pleaded of him, she could feel every part of her body trembling with fear, her heart felt as if it were about to explode out of her chest in terror.

Instead of doing, with an almost graceful fashion, he leapt from the rail he'd been standing upon, the thick rope around his neck followed him until its length was pulled as far as it could go.

          "NO!" Rogue screamed, finally able to move, she leapt to the air, taking to flight, hoping to reach him in time.

          A horrible, terrifying snapping sound occurred before Rogue could get to him, and upon the rope, the body of Remy LeBeau swung, the only sound in the foyer was the creaking of the rope against the rail.

          "NO!" she screamed again, she caught his swinging body in midair, holding him up with one arm as she forced herself up higher to the banister to try and untie the rope that he'd knotted particularly well.  "You are not going to die on me!" she said angrily tugging hard at the knot. 

          Rogue could feel the dead weight of his body hanging from her arm as she continued trying to free him from the noose, "HELP!" she screamed frantically as she continued, helplessly unable to free the rope from him, becoming more and more panicked by the second knowing she was running out of time.

          Kitty Pryde came dashing from the hall, "what's going on—" her large eyes grew wide with the site of the rope, and Remy dangling from Rogue's arm, "Oh my god…" she whispered.

          "Kitty, help me!!" Rogue demanded, tears of anger streaking her face.

          Kitty rushed over, pulling at the knot on the rope desperately, "its too tight!"

          "Phase it!" Rogue cried at her, she couldn't believe in a crisis like this Kitty was helplessly trying to undo the knot when her powers would simply accommodate the situation.

          Kitty grabbed a hold of the rope, she used her powers to phase it through the rail it had been tied around, bringing herself through with it as the weight hauled Rogue and herself to the ground along with Remy's body, the three made a thud upon the marble tiles, and Kitty felt it might be lucky she hadn't broken her neck.

          "Get Hank," Rogue said, yanking the noose free of Remy's neck.

          Kitty pulled herself up painfully, rubbing her shoulder which had slammed against the floor, she rushed down the hall, leaving Rogue in the foyer alone with Remy's body.

          "Remy, come on, you are not going to die on me," Rogue yanked her glove off and pressed her bare fingers against Remy's neck to detect a pulse finding none.  "No, dammit!" she cried, "Breathe!" she pleaded helplessly, now the thoughts of what to do left her, in emergencies she'd always known how to react but now, her mind was blank.

          "Rogue, move back from him!" Hank McCoy called as he came rushing down the hall, Kitty running at his back, he fell to his knees by Remy, and Rogue moved aside, letting Hank do what he could.  "What happened?" he asked.

          "He jumped…" Rogue stammered, "from the balcony…I begged him not to but he…he just…he jumped…" more tears sprung to her eyes, her voice shuddering with emotion.

          No amount of resuscitation seemed to work upon the body, Rogue kept hoping any minute she'd hear a cough, or a loud breath, or a voice calling her name, but instead, all she heard was Hank's frustrated mumbling to himself as he tried to bring Remy back to life.  

          "Hank, you have to bring him back, you have to, he can't die…not yet!" Rogue screamed in tears at Hank.

          "I'm doing all I can…" Hank said breathlessly, trying to apply mouth to mouth in between talking, although he was already sure he knew the diagnosis, and wasn't sure that Rogue should be here when he made it.  "Rogue…" Hank said softly, "could you please…go into another room…" he said softly.

          The front door opened, and Bobby Drake stepped inside, his expression twisted in shock to see Remy LeBeau lying upon the floor lifeless, "what's…going on?" he asked.

          Rogue stood up, "If you hadn't kept me away from going inside I could have stopped him in time!" she accused.

          "Bobby!  Get out of here!" Hank called over his back.  "Kitty, get Rogue into another room," he commanded – and Bobby, stunned, left silently, looking confused.

          "I'm not goin' anywhere!" Rogue objected, tears streaked with mascara and eyeliner ran down her face.  She kept trying to tell herself that this was some terrible nightmare, that this was just a bad dream induced  by sleeping after having eaten an extremely dodgy pizza earlier that night.  But she couldn't remember going to bed, all she could remember was Bobby telling her he loved her, and then her coming through the door to see Remy up there, jumping.

          Kitty got up, grabbing Rogue's arm, "come on…" she urged, "you can't be here, now," she said softly, she sounded as if emotion were about to defeat her at any moment, but she seemed to be holding on strong.

          "I have to be!" Rogue pulled away, "I can't leave him now!" she dropped to her knees beside Remy, taking his bare hand within hers and holding it tightly.  His hand was soft, and still warm, and it gave her hope that if he were still warm he couldn't really have died, that this might all be some mistake and Hank just hadn't detected the pulse that might be there. 

          "Rogue, go!" Hank ordered.

          "He's still warm!" Rogue cried at him, "He's not dead, he's not, he's warm!"

          Hank looked at Rogue, his indigo eyes filled with a kind of sympathy that spoke volumes louder than words could.  "Are your powers picking up anything from him, Rogue?" he asked pointedly, but in a voice soft, and gentle.  He knew these words would make her come to terms with it.

Rogue soon realised herself that if Remy had been alive, she'd have felt his powers absorbing into her, his memories, his thoughts, everything that was him.  

          But there was nothing…just the feel of his skin against hers.  This was when she began to realise that what had happened was real. 

          "Rogue!" Kitty frowned, "you can't be here, let Hank do what he can!"

          Rogue was finally too devastated to fight with Kitty about this and let herself be led off towards the recreation room.  She collapsed on the couch in tears, and Kitty sat silently upon a chair, put her hand to her face and sobbed.

          Jean Grey and Scott Summers had been smiling at first when they entered the foyer,  smiling at their Valentines date and the romantic evening they'd just had.  Although to see the scene in front of them in the foyer, Hank McCoy kneeling on the floor beside a lifeless Remy LeBeau, the smiles soon faded.

          "What's going on?" Jean asked carefully she rushed over, falling to her knees.

          "Suicide, I'm afraid," Hank said rather tiredly, he put his hand to his head, "there's nothing I can do…his neck must have snapped upon the yank of the noose…" 

          Jean checked Remy's pulse herself, "does Rogue know?" she asked softly.

          "She witnessed the whole thing," Hank sighed, "she's devastated, of course…" 

          Scott knelt down too, looking at the body, "What should we do?" He asked, "call the police?"

          Jean frowned a little, thinking deeply about this, "No…that would be a bad idea at this moment in time," she stated.  She could envision clearly what would happen if they did so, and the outcome would not be good.

          "Then what should we do?" Scott asked.

          Jean drew her breath, "legally we're obliged to call the police, but…we can't…besides, Rogue wouldn't be able to handle any questioning from the police right now.  Her emotions are running so high I can feel the telepathic echoes bouncing off these walls," she rubbed her temples, "perhaps we should try to find out what happened before figuring out what we should do?"

          Scott gaped at her, "Keep a body in the mansion?  We can't do that…you know that his body will—"

          "I know, Scott, I know," Jean frowned, "but you have to also remember, Remy was on the run!  For murder, and an endless list of robberies, if we call the police explaining he committed suicide here you know we'll be in as much trouble as he is – for harbouring a fugitive," she said, "we should wait for the Professor, he'll know what to do, he should be home by tomorrow morning, within another twelve hours, we'll have the answer, I think we can wait until then…"

          "Jean…can you telekinetically move Remy from here to the hospital wing?" Hank asked softly, "I…I must check on Rogue, I must explain to her I did all I could…" he stood up.

          "Of course," Jean nodded, "Rogue is in the recreation room, by the way," Jean said after doing a quick telepathic search of the mansion.

          "Thank you," Hank said, and headed off in that direction, finally he approached the recreation room, holding his breath, hoping he could deliver the news without devastating her more than she already was.

          Rogue raised her head as Hank stepped into the recreation room, he looked sombre, his eyes sympathetic once again.  She tried to contain her own sobbing, and looked at Hank pleadingly, hoping he'd have the good news she desperately needed to hear.

          "Rogue…" Hank said softly, he came over and sat beside her on the couch, he reached over and touched her arm, "I'm afraid…there was nothing I could to save Remy…"

          Rogue pressed her hands to face and broke down into more tears, it felt as if her life were suddenly over, as if the weight of the world came crashing down upon her and once again, the same feeling that came to her every time Remy left her – her heart breaking – was there again.  Only this time, she was well aware this would be the last time she ever felt it.


	2. Chapter 2: Where the Blame Lies

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 9

Chapter 2: Where the Blame Lies

          A few of the X-Men had moved to quieter part of the mansion – a barely used living room that was only generally accessed by the adults of the mansion occasionally.

          Inside, a fire crackled, and the ticking of a clock on the mantle droned consistently.  The lights weren't on, but the flames of the fire lit the room up,  but strange shadows skittered and flickered across the room, stalking their owners.  Somewhere in another part of the mansion, someone's radio could be heard faintly.  otherwise, silence remained in the room between all of the friends.

          Piotr sat on the floor near the fire, a bottle of beer dangling from his fingertips, Scott stood near the window, gazing outside, pensive and rigid.  Rogue was sitting at one end of a brown cracked leather couch, Kitty at the other side.  Both girls were holding glasses of whiskey, but neither had been able to bring themselves to drink.

          "What now…" Piotr finally broke the silence to Scott, "what will they do now?" he asked softly.  Piotr himself seemed to be feeling some guilt, although Rogue couldn't imagine why.  He wasn't exactly friendly with Remy.  Perhaps it was the fact that he and Illyana had headed in through the garage doors which were closer, and had surpassed the foyer to go for some hot chocolate in the kitchen – and thus had missed the chance to stop Remy from jumping.

          Rogue kept seeing the scene play over and over in her mind, it seemed to run backwards then forwards, letting her experience it again and again.  She closed her eyes tightly and tried to force out the vision of it, as fresh tears stung her tired puffy eyes.  Her face was streaked with mascara, her nose pink and runny.  

          Scott didn't turn to speak to his friends, he folded his arms, "we're going to wait until tomorrow morning…until Professor Xavier, Logan and Ororo arrive, then we can try to come up with a plan."

          "Why didn't you just call the police?" Rogue asked, her voice cold.  She felt it would have been like Scott to do the right thing and notify the authorities, and even in all her grief she resented him for that.

          "Because we don't need the police around here right now.  We might have proven his innocence to ourselves, but to them…that's a whole different matter," Scott pointed out.  "Besides…we need to investigate ourselves what caused it…"

          "So why aren't you?" Rogue demanded, "instead of standing there staring out of the window as if you're too lazy to even try…" she stood up, the fresh tears trickled down her cheek and she wiped them away.

          "Do you want me to jump into questioning you all?" Scott asked pointedly, he turned and frowned at her, "or would you rather me give you time to let the grief settle FIRST?"

          Rogue turned away from him, "I can't believe you're just standing there while Remy's dead…something happened, he wouldn't have just tried to kill himself…"

          Kitty raised her head and looked at Rogue, but didn't speak.

          "Oh come on, Rogue, you read the newspapers, we all did," Scott sat on the windowsill, arms folded, keeping a steady glance in her direction.  "He was on all kinds of medication – for mental disorders – even losing his memories isn't going to fix that, Rogue."

          Rogue shuddered, she closed her eyes tightly to stop the tears, "he wouldn't have…he wouldn't just go and kill himself for no reason…Remy was methodical with everything, and he wouldn't just go and do something stupid like that unless he had a reason!"

          "And the reason being he had a mental disorder…" Scott remarked, "You know as well as I do that Remy has had some pretty unstable moments."

          "He has never been unstable, Scott!" Rogue yelled.

          "Oh?  Trying to kill a guy for raping you?…that doesn't sound stable to me, Rogue," Scott stated, although instantly regretting it from the look on her face, she looked as if she might explode with rage any moment.  

          Rogue swallowed her anger, held her breath, then stated calmly, "he did that out of love, and however unconventional was…it did not make him unstable…" she clenched her fists at her sides, "and it proves my point, there was a reason behind it, something to drive him to it…"

          Scott paused, thinking for a moment, "okay, you want a motive for his suicide?  How about the amnesia.  Not knowing who he was had to have put some strain on him…"

          Kitty pressed her hands to her face to stifle a sob, she couldn't stand this arguing, and couldn't stand the guilt.  She'd known the instant she'd seen Remy hanging from the banister, that it had been her fault.  She'd never be able to live with herself.  The more she heard the pain in Rogue's voice, saw the expressions of heartache twist upon her face, the more she felt the guilt pushing at her, urging her to speak.

          "Perhaps this is my fault," Piotr spoke up, "I…I had words with him earlier today…I was…intimidating…perhaps I drove him to suicide out of fear…?" his cornflower blue eyes were full of guilt.

          Rogue gaped, "you what…"

          "No…wait…" Kitty finally stammered through tears, finally realising that no matter how bad the truth was, she had to tell Rogue why Remy had killed himself.  Even if she had to live with Rogue hating her for the rest of her life, and had to remain guilty for all eternity, it was still the right thing to do.

They all turned to her, looking at her curiously, now it was apparent that her grief was not just from the death of Remy, but…from something else.  

"Don't…don't blame him…" Kitty drew her breath, and sniffed, "It was me…" she said softly, "I did it.  It's my fault."

          They all gaped at Kitty with expressions of shock, mouths hanging open, staring at her in absolute disbelief.

          "What are you talking about?" Scott queried, looking grim as ever, "how could it be your fault, you didn't push him off the balcony…"

          Kitty sighed, "It was tearing him apart…I had to tell him, it was hurting him…" she said.

          "Tell him…?" Rogue asked, her heart felt as if it might have stopped beating for a moment, and her chest tightened so that she could almost barely breathe.  Surely her best friend could not be responsible for the death of Remy…surely this was all a nightmare.  "What did you tell him?" 

          "Everything," Kitty stammered.

          "Everything?" Rogue asked.

Kitty inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly, and tried to remain calm, she said carefully, "Everything."

Rogue stammered, "You…you didn't…tell him everything…"

          "About Bella Donna, You…how Jared died…everything…I had to, he wasn't remembering and I was desperate to help him!  You didn't see how confused he was, you didn't see how it was eating at him, I had to tell him, Rogue!" Kitty tried to explain.

          "Oh my god, you…you're where the blame lies!  Your 'truth' caused him to throw himself off the banister with a noose around his neck!!" Rogue hollered, "you might as well have pushed him!" she threw her glass of whiskey at Kitty and it barely missed her, shattered upon the carpet.

          "Don't you think I know that?!" Kitty yelled back, "I didn't think he was going to throw himself off the foyer balcony, did I?" she demanded, "god I knew he was a little stressed but I didn't know he was suicidal!"

          "You should have been thinking clearly!" Rogue yelled, "no one is ready to hear that!" she threw herself towards Kitty, hands out.

          Kitty instinctively phased herself so that Rogue passed through her, "I don't want to fight with you, Rogue!"

"I can't believe you did this!!" Rogue shrieked in angst, regaining her balance, "I lost him because of you! – My best FRIEND!" 

"I just lost him too!  Are you forgetting he was also MY friend?!" Kitty demanded, her eyes pouring with tears now.

          "You didn't love him the way I did!" Rogue screamed, "you've just cost me the only man I've ever loved!  And after all your pushin' for me to try and sort things out with him you've gone and done this!  Now I'll never get to say goodbye to him!  I'll never get to say I loved him!"

          "I know that…" Kitty put her hands to her face, she felt Piotr's strong hands upon her shoulders squeezing comfortingly.  "It wasn't like I was trying to force him into killing himself…" she sobbed, "I was just trying to do the right thing!"

          "How am I ever gonna forgive you for this?!" Rogue clenched her fists, she silently prayed to herself that any moment she'd wake up and this would all have been some awful nightmare.  But if this were all a nightmare, Rogue had to admit it was probably the ultimate nightmare she'd always secretly prayed she'd never live through.

          "I'm not asking you to forgive me!" Kitty cried at her, "I told you because it was the right thing to do, not because I wanted relief from guilt!"

          "Are you forgetting Kitty has also lost her parents as of recent…this is the last thing she needs," Piotr said to Rogue, he squeezed Kitty's tiny shoulders tenderly once again to comfort her, and Kitty was grateful just for that tiny piece of solace his touch allowed.

          "Of course, Kitty is the only one here in this room who's allowed to feel any emotion!" Rogue cried hysterically,  

          "Quiet!  All of you!" Scott said loudly, he stood in between Kitty and Rogue, he looked at Rogue with a severe expression, "whilst Kitty's words may have driven Gambit to what he did, you have to remember he had free will, he did what he did of his own free will, Kitty didn't push him, all she did was be honest.  What Gambit did with that information was his choice, that doesn't mean Kitty was to blame."

          "I can't believe you're sticking up for her!" Rogue frowned, "it's like you don't even care!"

          "Don't be stupid, Rogue, of course I care, we all do," Scott said firmly, "Gambit WAS still one of the X-Men…a friend."

          "Not to you," Rogue turned and headed for the door, left slamming behind her, and the remaining X-Men in the room heard the wall rattle and the echoes of the slam carry down the hall.


	3. Chapter 3: Morning That I Dread

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 9

Chapter 3: Morning that I dread

          Jean Grey sighed as she turned her cellular phone off, she was standing in the hallway outside of the Hospital Wing, she'd been trying to get through to Professor Xavier, but with no luck.  And her powers weren't allowing her to contact him through telepathy from Bayville to Washington.  It seemed hopeless. 

          She stepped into the hospital wing infirmary, and looked at Hank McCoy who was examining Remy LeBeau as if he thought he might have missed something.  "I still can't get through…I just keep getting cut off, or keep hearing static," she sighed, "He doesn't have his communicator with him – which makes sense, considering he's probably in a meeting…"

          "It's 2 a.m. Jean, I doubt he's in any meeting, he's probably sleeping," Hank replied, "which is what we all should be doing right about now…"

          Jean sat down upon a chair, watching Hank, "Rogue's anguish is so strong, Hank, it's affecting my powers.  I know she's not even remotely empathic, but…her pain…its like hearing loud screams echoing all around me, I can't block it out…" she rubbed her head.

          "She loved him," Hank replied, "its understandable…you would probably be the same way if something happened to Scott."

          Jean nodded, she ran her fingers through her thick red hair, "I can't imagine what she's going through right now.  She's been through so much, and Remy's suicide is probably pushing her right over the edge…"

          "She shouldn't be alone, tonight," Hank said thoughtfully, he studied the marks from the rope on Remy's neck, his brow knitting to a frown in concentration.

          Jean gazed over at him, "why do I sense that you're frustrated, Hank?" She asked carefully.  

          "Are you using your powers on me?" Hank asked, but smiled softly, knowing Jean wasn't meddlesome enough to do such a thing, but to tease her about it was something he would do quite often.

          "Of course not," Jean replied, "it's this thing I have…every so often, even when I'm trying to shield my mind from the thoughts and feelings of everyone around me, somehow when emotions are running high with people nearby, or if I'm not concentrating quite hard enough, my powers still sometimes pick up the occasional emotion or thought…"

          "I know," Hank said kindly, "And it's sweet of you to be concerned," he added, "my frustration is just fatigue induced, I suspect."

          "How so?" Jean gazed down at Remy's lifeless body.   Now all he was seemed to be an empty vessel, almost like a lifelike wax work dummy lying upon the bed.

          "I can't help but feel I'm overlooking some major detail.  It's probably just my imagination…but still."

          "I doubt you could be overlooking anything, Hank," Jean comforted, "Your attention to detail is second-to-none, you notice things with some extraordinary inhuman perception…perhaps that's a mutant power," Jean winked.

          Hank sighed, "if it is, then the power is letting me down, I feel it in my bones."  
          Jean gazed down at Remy's body once more, then decided to pull the sheet of the bed over him.  "I think its time we respect his body now," she said softly, "examining him won't prove anything, it was suicide…and besides, we should leave the examining to the proper authorities – if the Professor chooses to take that path regarding this…"

          Hank pushed his glasses up his nose, "tonight isn't so bad, its morning that I dread," he admitted.

          "Why?" Jean queried, her green eyes quizzical.

          "Tonight, everyone is mostly stunned because of the death – Rogue is devastated, sure…but by tomorrow…it'll really sink in…"

          Jean's expression changed, distress showed in her eyes, "what if she tries to join Gambit, Hank, it wouldn't be the first time she's tried…"

          Hank nodded, "I know, but…Rogue is in a better mental place than she was back then.  She'd be sad, sure, for a very long time, perhaps, but I don't believe she's a danger to herself anymore…"

          "I hope you're right…"

          Rogue had been sitting on the bottom steps of the staircase in the foyer for some time, she'd tried to get to her room, but her grief seemed to have supped every ounce of energy she'd had, leaving her so drained she couldn't even get halfway up the stairs.  

          Tears still came frantically, devastation had set in, leaving her feel as if her heart was nothing more than the wreckage left from Remy's final act.  He'd finally done it, he'd finally took everything of her there was to take, and this time it hadn't even really him, just a stranger to his own body.  

          "Rogue…"

          She looked up to see Kurt Wagner there, he still had his jacket on and it seemed he'd just arrived back, yet to see the look on his face seemed to explain that he had already heard the news.

          "Kurt…" Rogue sobbed, unable to say much more.

          Kurt sat beside her and put his arm gently around her, "I know…I just got back, I bumped into Jean in the Garage," he pulled her to him and hugged her, "I'm so sorry."

          Rogue sobbed into his shoulder, he was the only one she felt she could turn to right now.

          Kurt rubbed her back softly, "in the grand scheme of things, they say things like this happen for a reason, and if he did what he did, there may have been good cause," he comforted, "perhaps there is some greater good…"

          Rogue pulled away, pushing him away from her at the same time, "how can you say that?" she sobbed.

          "I'm sorry…"

          "You don't believe this could have been fated…" Rogue stood up, feeling weak in the knees, she began to climb the stairs slowly.

          Kurt stood too, watching her, "sometimes such things are…"

          "Forgive me if I'm not in the mood to hear how my life is over because its all for the greater good…"

          Kurt teleported himself to the steps in front of her, "wait…his life is over, YOURS isn't," he said, "You know he'd never want you to take that attitude…"

          "Wouldn't he?" Rogue demanded, "sure seems like he made sure I'd feel every ounce of pain I can out of my relationship with him – even without him being conscious of it…but we can blame Kitty for that…" she uttered, and got to the top of the stairs, "I'm going to my room, just leave me the hell alone, all of you!"

          She headed up towards her room, when she reached her door – a large six panelled mahogany door with her name engraved into a small brass plaque – she was surprised to find it open.  She could have sworn she'd closed it before having left. 

          She glanced down the hall, the windows were open, and a slight breeze was wafting in.  She decided it had probably been blown open by the wind and therefore ignored the bad feeling she'd gotten by it.  She headed across to the dresser taking off her earrings.  She sat down slowly at the dresser, and stared at her face, her tanned cheeks were tearstained with mascara and eyeliner, and her lipstick had slightly smudged past her mouth.  She reached for a makeup removing tissue from her box and began to wipe her face carefully.  In the mirror, something caught her eye.  In the reflection, she could see a piece of paper flapping around in the breeze from her open window.  She couldn't remember having left it there.

          She got up, forgetting what she was doing, and headed over to the cabinet.  The paper was held down by a scented decorative candle, and it was face down, although through the back Rogue could clearly see the indents in the paper of the words.  She pulled the paper out from under the candle and turned it over.

          Written in black biro on an Xavier's letterhead A4 sheet of paper, was the final words of Remy LeBeau, scrawled in a quick messy hand.  Rogue sat down and began to read carefully.

          Rogue,

                   I feel obligated more or less that I should write you to tell you why I've done what I've done, that way, at least someone knows the truth, right?  Now that I know the truth, that my life was one of deceit and dishonesty…it seems that I should at least apologise to you, though I can't remember any of it what so ever…

          Kitty told me about me and you…apparently having some kind of romantic past.  Seems plausible, even though I can't remember you I'm instinctively drawn to your beauty, and charm.  Seems like if me and you had been an item – and I was going to get my memory back – I'd have at least remembered you…how could I forget someone like you…so beautiful…

          But I have to do this, because…if my memory does return, does this not mean I risk doing the things I've done in my past all over – after all History is supposedly doomed to repeat itself, and I don't think I could bare doing that to you – it seems from what Kitty told me I've hurt you so much and I wish I could atone for that somehow, but it seems I'll never be able to.

          The only thing I can do to ensure that I don't hurt anyone else, and betray and deceive anyone else – especially you – that I should do what I'm going to do…and perhaps, when I'm dead…maybe you'll thank me…

          I'm sorry, and I hope you forgive me, 

          Remy (?)

          Rogue dropped the letter, tears welling up in her eyes once again.  The letter spoke so casually about the suicide as if this were something that hardly meant anything at all, it was so…shocking.  And the writing was definitely not Remy's handwriting, it was almost childlike.  But still, this did not surprise her, as with no memory, how would he remember how to write like himself.

          Rogue collapsed onto her bed in fits of tears, little left of her heart to feel anything except grief, she cried into the letter, tears staining the ink on the paper – the last thing Remy LeBeau probably touched before he threw himself off the balcony.  His final words to her, his final apology,


	4. Chapter 4: I'm Sorry

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 9

Chapter 4:  I'm Sorry

          Kitty Pryde's hands were shaking uncontrollably as she tried to pour herself a cup of coffee, the cup in her hand rattled off of the counter, she sniffled and tried to control herself but grief was overwhelming her as it had seemed to overwhelm Rogue.

          "Let me do that," Kurt Wagner offered, he came up behind her and took the coffee pot from her, "Kitty, you're a wreck…"

          "I'm sorry," Kitty whispered, she moved back slowly, spilling a little of the hot coffee upon the floor from what had been in her cup, she put a hand to her face, feeling so helpless and pathetic right at that moment.  

          "Kitty, sit down…" Kurt pleaded, "I'll deal with this," he promised.

          Kitty sat down at the kitchen table, head in her hands, "I keep wishing I'd wake up – this all has to be some dream, right?" she half-sobbed into her palms.

          "I wish it was," Kurt sighed unhappily, he grabbed a dishcloth from the counter and began to wipe the spilled coffee from the floor.

          "It really was my fault, Kurt…" Kitty shuddered, "My fault he's dead…"

          "That's not true," Kurt assured, "Kitty, you might have told him what he needed to know – and what he was eventually going to know anyway – but you didn't make him do what he did, that was his choice, not yours."

          "But it was too soon…too soon…" Kitty was trembling with emotion, "I'm a murderer..."

          "That's just nonsense," Kurt sighed, he finished pouring her coffee and put the cup down in front of her, "you're just upset.  When you've began to deal with this and accept it, you'll feel better…"

          "How can I accept this?!" Kitty demanded in more tears, "I may as well have pushed him!"

          "But you didn't…" Kurt took her hands within his and held them tightly, "Kitty, look at me…" he said softly.

          Kitty raised her eyes from the cup to his pale eyes, her lip trembling.

          "Remy was unstable…I read all about it in the papers…"

          Kitty nodded, blinking tears, "I know, he…he even told me he'd tried before…but…I didn't think…I just…god I don't know, I thought if I was his friend, if I was there for him, that it'd stop it from happening again…I…I didn't want to lose anyone else…"

          "The man who committed suicide was NOT Remy LeBeau, you know that," Kurt said, "he was a different person entirely, living in a body that had once belonged to a consciousness that was no longer existing…"

          Kitty nodded slightly, "you can say what you like, but I know this is my fault, Kurt…I know this is my fault because I haven't been dealing with my own grief…and because of my own denial I've not been thinking clearly on how to handle Remy's problems…"

          "That's not true…" Kurt gaped at her, "You're grieving, its understandable, but you needed to try and help Remy because you have a good heart and a good soul, not because you were trying to avoid your parents death.  You've been dealing by trying to carry on with your life…that's not a crime."

          Kitty looked down to the table distantly, "have you checked on Rogue?  You know she's pretty upset…she'll need you right now."

          "I think I should keep my distance from Rogue right now," Kurt sighed, he traced a deep scratch in the wood of the pine table absently with his index finger.

"Why?" Kitty raised her teary eyes back to him looking at him with much confusion.

"I…uhm…" Kurt chewed his lip.

"What did you do?" Kitty began to feel rather concerned.

"Whilst trying to comfort her I inadvertently said the wrong thing…" Kurt admitted regretfully. 

"What did you say?" Kitty leaned back in her chair, frowning.

"That…uhm…in the grand scheme of things that it was meant to be?"

"God, that wasn't what Rogue needed to hear right now, you stupid Elf," Kitty stood up, swatting the back of Kurt's head angrily, hard enough to hurt slightly, not hard enough to cause any real damage.  

"I said I was sorry, look, she just took it the wrong way, you know my feelings on fate…" Kurt said, "sometimes these things are fated."

"Was it fated that my parents died?" Kitty asked with a frown, "was that meant to be too!?" 

Kurt shrugged deeper down into his chair, "I think I've dug myself into a deeper hole than I was already in."

          "One more stupid comment about people dying being fate and you might as well dig your OWN grave because one of us will surely kill you," Kitty frowned.

          "Where are you going?" Kurt asked, about to stand.

          "You sit there, you've done enough damage," Kitty ordered, "I'm going to go apologise to Rogue."

Rogue couldn't sleep, although she felt so worn out by the tears that sleep felt inevitable, it did not come and every time she closed her eyes she saw Remy again upon the balcony throwing himself off.  The vision in her mind seemed to run in slow motion, and the jump Remy made seemed so balletic and graceful.  Rogue could still hear the snapping of his neck so vividly in her own imagination, it haunted her, and she felt it would for a very long time.

          It kept playing itself over and over in her head, that sound, making her feel sick at the thought of it, and being in the isolation of her room – with the only sound being the ticking of a clock on the wall – she felt like she would slowly go mad if she remained.

          There was a sharp knock at the door, and Rogue pulled herself up from her bed, "who is it?" she asked, drying her face to make sure no tears were remaining.

          "It's me," Kitty's voice replied, and the door opened slowly, "I…uhm…I just wanted to check you were okay…" she said softly, she looked at Rogue through dull tired blue eyes, eyes that were red and puffy from crying.

          Rogue snorted in slight disdain of the comment, "okay?  I don't think I'll ever be okay again," she looked down to the floor, "all I am is…drained," she pressed a hand to her forehead, it felt hot and fevered against her cold hands, "cried until feels like I have no tears left…" she mumbled.

          Kitty stepped in, closing the door behind herself quietly, "doesn't feel real, does it?" she asked softly, "feels like some…nightmare…something that's all in the mind…"

          Rogue nodded, rubbing her head, "I know."

          Kitty walked over and sat beside her on the bed, "god…why did I let us get separated…?" 

"Huh?" Rogue asked, turning to her, feeling bleary eyed and weary.

Kitty stared into space, "it all went by so fast…" she sniffed, "one minute, we're in his apartment, finding out the place had been broken into, then…suddenly we're running, police coming from every direction, we ended up on the roof, but there was nowhere to run…and ironically we went down the fire escape – I remember bitching at him because it was such a stupid plan…"

Rogue remained still, and silent, and listened as Kitty recalled the last moments of the true Remy LeBeau's presence.

"He was exhausted…" Kitty whispered, "his face was…pink, there was sweat pouring from his face, his eyes looked fevered…intense…afraid, I'd never seen him so afraid…" Kitty's eyes began to tear up again, "I whined…my legs were hurting…he told me we didn't have time to hurt…"

Rogue bit into her lip, still listening, if she'd had any more tears within her, she'd have cried too.

"We got to the bottom, and out of the alley we were in there were police cars…four or five…the lights flashing everywhere, I grabbed onto his sleeve, I remember the feel of that fabric against my hands, it was threadbare and rough…" Kitty gave a half-laugh, "funny the things that stand out in a crisis…"

Rogue nodded, still paying attention with intense fascination.

"Cops spotted us, Remy had his staff, swung out at them, knocking them over," she gave a slight laugh, "like dominoes…it was…" she closed her eyes, seeing it all in her head, "then…I did the stupidest thing, I figured phasing us into the building would get us out of there, but there were more cops in there…they had us surrounded.  He…he turned himself in, just like that…" Kitty shook her head, "a cop told me to stand against the wall so he could frisk me…" she opened her eyes, tears streamed down her face, "and I looked at Remy, and he looked back at me…and he was smiling – he had that look, you know, the knowing smirk…"

"God I know that smirk so well…" Rogue whispered sadly.

"When I saw that look, I figured he had a plan…but then…the next morning on the news…well…you know…" Kitty wiped her face but half sobbed, "god why didn't I stay with him…I could have stopped him from ever having been shot…" she broke into tears in her hands.

Rogue put her hand softly on Kitty's back, "it's not your fault…" she whispered, "I…I've had time to think, and…I know Remy was reckless…I know…he had problems…and…it couldn't just be you who was the cause of what he did…" 

"I'm sorry, Rogue…" Kitty sobbed, "I'm just really sorry…I thought I was doing the right thing by helping…I just…I thought I could avoid having to think about my parents by helping Remy…but I made things worse…I should have listened to Hank…he knew I couldn't handle it and I acted like I always know better…and I don't…" 

Rogue half hugged Kitty, trying desperately not to let their skin touch, still very conscious of her powers being very active – especially not with her gloves on at that very moment.  "Kitty…you weren't trying to avoid your parents death…you were just…I don't know, trying to help Remy because, you're a good person…you always do stuff like that, you have a good heart…"

Kitty wiped her tears, stammering, "that's what Kurt said."

"As much as I'm mad at him right now…I'm glad he agrees," Rogue said softly.

An awkward silence fell over the room, Rogue finally decided to break it by speaking, though her voice was full of emotion as if tears might threaten to spill again, "has Scott decided what we're going to do about…about the body...?"

Kitty stood up and walked over to the dresser, she sat down and picked up a tissue, dabbing at her slightly damp cheeks, "I think they're waiting for the professor to arrive…which should be within the next seven hours…" Kitty looked at the clock on the wall, it was past two am, the Professor was scheduled to be back at nine am in the morning.  Hopefully is arrival would be on time, as this matter needed to be attended quickly.

"What do you think they'll do?" Rogue asked, staring at the floor distantly.

"I don't know," Kitty said, "I don't think there's much they can do really…"  
          "Hank won't…won't cut him up, will he?" Rogue asked, raising her eyes from the floor to look at Kitty.

"No…" Kitty shook her head, "Hank isn't a forensic scientist – and I don't think he'd do an autopsy…he'd leave that for the police…and besides, we know the cause of death…"

"That's true," Rogue agreed, "I…I just couldn't stand the thought of someone doing that to Remy…" she shivered, "he's been through enough…"

"I'll talk to Hank, I'll make sure he won't cut him up…" Kitty promised.

"Okay…" Rogue drew in a deep breath, "Okay…"


	5. Chapter 5: Shocked

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 9

Chapter 5:  Shocked

          Kitty Pryde went down the direction of the hospital wing and stopped in front of the door leading into the infirmary where no doubt, Hank would have taken Remy's corpse.  Hank was nowhere to be found in any other room in the mansion and it seemed plausible that he would be in the hospital wing with Remy, waiting patiently.  Kitty hoped she wasn't too late to stop any autopsy from being carried out.  She couldn't stand the thought of letting Rogue down again.

          Kitty stood in front of the door staring at the wooden panels, there was a glass panel on the door gazing in, but it had been long since painted over as to protect privacy of any patient who might be recovering within.  Kitty drew her breath, trying to tell herself it would be alright, and that going in wouldn't really affect her at all.

          She knocked sharply on the door three times and waited patiently, she heard the footsteps within and the door opened ever so slightly, Hank McCoy's indigo eyes stared out at her, curious and tired.  

          "Kitty, I'm surprised to see you down here at this time of night, why aren't you in bed…?" he asked.

          Kitty looked at him, "do you honestly think after what happened tonight I'd be able to sleep like everything is peachy?" she asked softly, "what are you doing in there anyway?" she queried, voice tired and dry.

          "Just…standing by," Hank replied, "I don't feel comfortable leaving a corpse alone in here," he said.

          Kitty frowned, "not just 'a corpse', Hank, it's Remy.  He's STILL a person," she reminded.

          "I know, I'm sorry," Hank sighed, "I'm very tired, I'm afraid it's taking its toll on my way of thinking," he explained.

          "You're not…" Kitty trailed off, a vision of the journal in her dream earlier flashed back into her mind, the bullet glinting in the wound in the pages, "cutting him up, are you?" she finally continued.

          "What a preposterous thought," Hank replied, softening his expression, "do you really think I'd defile his body?  I think he deserves a bit more respect than that, even if has done some pretty horrendous things in his past."

          "Horrendous?" Kitty raised an eyebrow, "Oh come on, his Thieving wasn't that horrendous, and from what I could gather, they were usually people who could afford it and were well insured."

          "See, I'm perhaps a little judgemental when I've had lack of sleep," Hank apologised, "I'm sorry," the door swung open, and Kitty stared in, Remy's cadaver was draped over with a plain white sheet, Kitty felt a gasp catch in her throat, and she moved away from the door, "I don't want to see him…" she whispered, "I can't look I can't look."

          "I'm sorry," Hank said again, he stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind himself, "Kitty, a few moments ago, you looked distant, as you were thinking about something, just before you asked me if I was performing an autopsy on the corp—I mean Remy," Hank frowned at his own lack of sympathy, knowing his exhaustion was causing him to be very insensitive, "What was on your mind."

          Kitty shrugged, "I don't know…I just…look, I know this is going to sound weird, because you and me both know there's NO way I'm psychic or anything, but I had a weird vision just now…the…bullet?"

          "The bullet…" Hank's eyes lit up a little, "yes, the bullet!" he said, he took a key out of his pocket and locked the door of the hospital wing infirmary and began to head towards his laboratory, urging Kitty to follow him, "come with me."

          Kitty followed him into the lab, watching as Hank turned the lights on and walked over to the counter, a small glass container was sitting upon the countertop.  "Is that the bullet in there?" she asked, she approached and stared into the glass container, the bullet was inside.

          "Yes," Hank said, "I was overlooking the bullet just before you came and found me, remember?" he held the container up, rattling it a little within the container as if to confirm it were still there – although clearly through the plain glass, it was present.

          "I didn't notice, it all went by so fast when I saw Remy hanging…" Kitty tried to block the mental image of him swinging from the rope out of her mind, "Anyway, what did you find out?" she asked.

          Hank opened the container, "Hold your hand out…" he said softly.

          Kitty held her bare hand out, palm upwards, looking curiously at Hank, wondering what he had in store for her.

          Hank  raised the container above her hand and tipped it, the bullet fell out into her bare hand.

Upon instantaneous contact, Kitty felt a very real short electrical surge – she saw the small flicker of thin threads of electricity jolt form the bullet to her flesh and this made her drop the bullet and grab her sore palm with her free hand, "OW!" she yelped, "what the hell--?"

"Fascinating, isn't it?" Hank asked, he crouched down and put the bullet back into the container, scooping it in using the lid, "it gives off an electric shock upon contact…"

"I don't understand the significance," Kitty admitted, still holding her hand, 

"Apart from causing the victim – i.e. Remy – extreme discomfort upon impact, I can't imagine what this would be for…" Hank explained, "but I'm still working on it," he added.  

"But you picked that bullet out of the plastic bag it was in, it didn't shock you."

"Yes, I know," Hank nodded, "that's a very fascinating thing, really," he said, "it wasn't until I was properly examining the bullet that I felt a very small shock when I touched it with the tweezers.  What I've come to understand is that the chip here on the bullet," he gestured to the tiny little chip which to the naked eye seemed no more than a scratch, "can build up a charge of electricity from the touch of metal and store it until impact with flesh."

"That's…pretty impressive," Kitty raised her eyebrow, "who would have technology like that?  Magneto?"

"Magneto is master of all metals, and yes, he has been known to design some high-tech guns in the past, but this…this cannot be his work," Hank sounded contently sure of this.

"How can you be sure?" Kitty asked.

"Magneto has designed guns that are all lasers, guns that are self-charging, automatic and do not require ammunition to run…" Hank explained, "whatever gun this came from would be a standard gun, and this would be from a clip," he gestured to the bullet, "as you know, guns that require clips have to constantly be reloaded – that's not Magneto's style – it would take too long for any damage to be done that way."

Kitty chewed her lip, "so…if it's not Magneto – who's smart enough to make something like this – and more importantly, why did they make a bullet that electrocutes people…"

"More importantly," Hank said, "WHO was it who shot Remy?" he asked, "because right now the police are the least likely to have done this…and if it had been the police they would have certainly taken the body with them…" 

"But that doesn't make sense," Kitty said, "if he'd been shot with that thing, he'd have fallen right away, right?"

"Most definitely," Hank nodded, "the build up of the charge from the tweezers hurt your hand – by the way that WILL stop hurting in a while – the build up from the gun would be a thousand times worse, probably kill him, only it didn't."

"It's weird Hank…" Kitty said, "Logan said he found a stain of blood on the roof a little bit AWAY from where he was found…so either he was moved after shot or he was still awake…"

Hank looked at Kitty, "How unusual…" he rubbed his chin, "but I suppose there's no way of testing this theory…"

"We could ask Logan if he wanted to," Kitty made a half joke, trying to lighten her own mood.

"Logan's healing factor would be an advantage to testing the theory but at the same time, he'd heal too quickly and recover to give us an idea of how Remy could recover enough to move from an electric shock of that magnitude."

Kitty nodded.

"This may remain a mystery we might never know the answer to…" Hank stressed, he pushed his hexagonal glasses back up his nose, "I'll discuss it with the Professor in the morning, perhaps he will have some theories of his own – after all my mind is not so alert right now, I could use a good sleep – I think we all could."

"I don't think many of us in this mansion will be sleeping tonight," Kitty explained, "After seeing Remy like I did…I don't know if I'll ever sleep again…" she sighed, "I feel so bad for Rogue…I think she saw him jump."

Hank looked at Kitty, "if you need some sleep I can give you a sedative to induce sleep and relax you?"

"No…" Kitty shook her head, "I know if I sleep I'm going to have nightmares…I'll sleep when this is all over…if it ever is," she said.

"I suppose I should go back to the hospital wing…keep an eye on Remy," Hank sighed, "I hate being amongst the dead," he said quietly, "I also have nightmares…"

Kitty touched her arm, "do you want me to sit with you?" she asked quietly, she hoped he'd say no, but she thought it might be polite to ask anyway.  The thought of sitting in that horrible clinical smelling room with that body under the white sheet made her very skin crawl.  Only hours ago he'd been Remy LeBeau and now was nothing more than a cadaver under a sheet.

"I…don't think that would be a good idea," Hank said, but smiled, "go get some rest, and I'll be fine, really…"

"You're sure?" Kitty asked again, yet again praying he'd say that he would be alright on his own, she crossed her fingers behind her back.

Hank nodded once more, "I'm sure."


	6. Chapter 6: Not Quite Right

Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 9

Chapter 6:  Not Quite Right

          Rogue stepped down the cold dark halls leading to the Hospital Wing infirmary, the lights were down at their lowest, and there was no sound except from her own footsteps against the tiled floors as she made her way along.  Her heart was pounding viciously in her chest and felt as if it would burst out any moment, she stopped at the familiar door, remembering all the times in her life she'd been a patient in this very room.  Two particular years, aged fifteen and sixteen, she felt as if she'd never been out of the infirmary, and those incidents of her being there usually had something to do with Remy.

          And now, here she was again, and realising how strange it was that every time she came to the infirmary, whether a patient or visitor, it usually was because of Remy.

          But this time, it would be the final time.

          She knocked softly on the door and waited for a response, the door creaked open softly, Hank peered out from inside, "Rogue…oh, I didn't expect you to come down here," he sounded quite nervous.

          "You alright, Hank?" Rogue asked.

          "I'm fine, just tired, and edgy, its been a rough night…" he said, he left the room somehow not letting Rogue see inside at all, he closed the door behind himself, "what are you down here for, Rogue?" he asked, "you should be getting some rest…"

          "I hate how people always think someone needs rest when someone in their life has just died," Rogue said she looked away from him for a moment, "I can't sleep, Hank, every time I do close my eyes I see those final moments in my head…I still hear the snap…its drivin' me crazy…"

          "Do you need something to help you sleep?"

          "No…I'd rather not, I'd probably have nightmares," Rogue confessed.

          Hank smiled a little, "Kitty said that same thing…" he put his large hand upon her shoulder, "do you need to talk?  We can go into the lab, or we can go to the kitchen and make some coffee if you'd like."  
          Rogue looked up at Hank, "Hank, I know this is going to sound crazy…but, I need to see him one last time…"

          "Rogue, that isn't a very good idea, you know, you are still going through the grief process, and seeing him like this might make you feel even worse, I do not want you going through all that…"

          "Hank, you don't get it, I LOVE him," she blinked, and although she thought she'd been out of tears, fresh new tears were already brimming upon her dark green eyes, "I never got the chance to say I love him when he was alive, and if I don't do this now – while his body is still here in this mansion – I might never get a chance…"

          Hank looked at her, somehow already quite aware that trying to keep her away from the body was only going to make her more persistent.  And he felt for her, he knew she'd loved him, he knew she'd gone through so much because of him, and he could barely deny her the last chance to say her final words to him.  It wasn't much to ask.

          "Alright," Hank said softly, "are you sure you can handle this?" 

          "Yes," Rogue sighed, "god I've seen a dead body before, I saw Jared, remember…"

          "Yes, of course…" Hank nodded, he reached over and opened the door, "If you need me, if you feel upset or anything, you can call on me, I'll just be outside, okay?"          "Alright," Rogue nodded softly, and she stepped inside, and heard the door close behind her.  There was a strange finality to the sound of the door closing, and it made her shudder, drew in a trembling breath, and stare forward to the bed nearest.  Shrouded in a white sheet, Remy's corpse.  She put her hands to her mouth and stifled her gasp.  She'd seen him hang, she'd seen him dead, but now, covered in a white sheet, there was nothing more final than this, this was really the end of Remy LeBeau, she could not bear it. 

          She turned away, tears rolling down her face, she forced her eyes shut, demanding herself of why she'd come in this room, she'd thought she could be brave and do this but she was not, she felt helpless, like a lost child, she didn't know how to react anymore.

          "No, Rogue, you are not going to wimp out now," she told herself sternly in tears, "this is the last chance you have to tell him how you feel, even if he isn't alive, he needs to know…you need to do this."

          Rogue thought about what Bobby had said about closure on her relationship with Remy when Remy had first arrived with amnesia and Rogue had discovered he might never have his memory back.  Bobby had been wrong then, but now, he was right, she needed closure, to finalise the relationship and say the things that were unsaid that needed to be said.  Only then could she let go of him once and for all.

          She stepped up slowly to the bed, every step felt as if it were drawing her nearer and nearer to her worst nightmare.  Her breathing quickened, her trembling seemed to become far worse than it was before, every limb quaking, her fingers tingling, lip quivering.

His face was covered, although she could see the slight contours of his nose and chin beneath, she stared down at him, wondering if she should really remove that sheet from his face and look at him one last time or leave him as he is, and remember him as she'd seen him years ago, handsome, with that knowing smirk and dark intense eyes.  

But the image of him from years ago did not stick in her mind, for now all she saw was the ugly reality of hours ago when he'd jumped from the balcony in the foyer, and then lying across the marble floors, lifeless.

She couldn't bring herself to speak yet, she just continued to stare at the body.

"I can't do this," she said to herself she turned away again, and closed her eyes tightly trying to block out the mental image of Remy as she'd last seen him, but it was still there, the way he'd looked at her with those eyes of torment, it hadn't looked like him, it had looked like a stranger.  

He was a stranger, she told herself in thought, he was just the wreckage left behind from Remy's misfortune, and she couldn't blame herself or Kitty for what had happened to him in the end, as somehow, Remy's problems had mounted on to that wreckage and finally broken all that was left.  

Rogue turned back to the body again and looked at it, "You need to do this, Rogue, you need to do this, you need to see him one last time, just so you know this isn't a dream – a nightmare.  You need to see him and tell him you love him and then you can move on…" she told herself angrily, "you cannot back out now."

She reached out slowly, taking a hold of the hem of the sheet and pulling it ever so slowly from him, first revealing his hair, then forehead, then lightly closed eyes.  She was almost shocked how peaceful he looked as she removed the rest of the sheet from his face, it almost looked as if he might just be sleeping.  His skin still looked warm and she was almost tempted to take off her gloves and touch it just to make sure.  But she knew there was no use, there was no mistaking he was deceased.

She couldn't help but just stare at him, he was so physically perfect, he almost didn't look real anymore.  She felt such sadness well up within her that she'd never see that knowing smirk again playing upon those lips of his, that she'd never hear his voice, his romantic French, and she'd never ever feel his kiss.  She felt more tears come and she sobbed, unable to speak to him, despite this had been her intention.

It seemed that if she spoke to him and said what she needed to it would be admitting that he really was dead, and she didn't want to do that, she didn't want to never see him again, although somewhere all the logic in herself reminded her that this was impossible.  

Something caught her eye from where she stood.  She'd pulled the sheet just below his chest, inadvertently admittedly.  He was still wearing the dark grey zip-up hooded top he'd been wearing when he'd jumped, although now it was a little rumpled.  If it hadn't been, she might not have noticed what she did.  

Feeling slightly perverse about what she did, she pushed the sheet down a little more, and unzipped the top, opening it up fully and staring down at his bare torso.  Something didn't seem right, and it seemed that whatever it was had to be significant for her to have noticed.  

She thought back to having seen him topless in the past, she closed her eyes, trying to picture it, and then it came to her, her eyes snapped open and she stared again gaping.  Quickly, she pushed the sheet down further, grabbed upon the waistband of his jogging pants and pushed them down his hip to examine there also.  Something definitely wasn't right and now she had quickly discovered what.  She began to hyperventilate, eyes wide, she jumped back from the body, hands against her mouth, she kept stumbling backwards until she slammed into the door and heard it rattle as she did so.

"Rogue?!" she heard Hank's voice suddenly concerned from the other side as he too had heard the door rattle as he'd been waiting outside.

Rogue moved away from the door, backing into the corner shaking her head, she was trembling so violently that she could barely control herself.

The door swung open and Hank rushed in, "Rogue, what is it...?" he asked, rushing over to her.

Rogue shaking still, breathing fast, raised a hand, pointing a trembling finger at the body, unable to speak, eyes wide as they could go.

"What, Rogue, what?!" Hank asked, taking a hold of her sleeved arms and shaking her a little to try and bring her back to herself.

Finally, Rogue found her voice, although it took several stammering attempts to say what she had to say, "That's not Remy…"

(The end – or is it?  DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.  Okay, so am I still going to receive death threats in the email?  I've been dying to write those three little last words in this story since October! Weeeeeee.  

Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing – reviews are so nice, they're my favourite part of writing these just to find out what people thought, especially Ishandahalf and Rogue4787 who give lengthy reviews and say what they really think and not just "love the story, what's going on".  I love their conspiracy theories and all the rest! Thanks guys.  Oh and thanks to Aro who's waited since like December to see this happen! LOL.)


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